


To: Sean, From: Mark

by Blepbean



Series: Last Notes [1]
Category: Septiplier - Fandom, jacksepticeye, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, M/M, Suicide, Suicide Notes, see im just stuck in this bit where i just write angst, thats it just angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-13 02:53:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13561191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blepbean/pseuds/Blepbean
Summary: It was all a mess, a simple mess that caused him everything that he wanted.





	To: Sean, From: Mark

**Author's Note:**

> hmmmmmmmmmmmm who needs fluff when u have angst? ahaahhah kms  
> KUDOS, COMMENTS AND FEEDBACK ARE APPRECIATED  
> STARTING A NEW SERIES WHICH IS BASICALLY SUICIDE LETTERS WHICH BREAKS MY HEART IM SORRY

To Sean  


Hey, to Ethan, Kathryn, Tyler, and Amy. Reading this letter, I’m sorry. This won’t be a formal letter, rather a series of random thoughts. And to _Sean…_ I’m sorry  
I loved the way you smiled, from your little quirks like smiling a lot to your… adorable green hair that you dyed back. To your cheeks and cute Irish accent which makes me wonder how I ended up with such an amazing boyfriend.  
The little quirks make everything about you so goddamn intoxicating, the way you blushed when I flirted at you, how flustered you become when we get touchy in the bed.  
_Everything about that makes it so… intoxicating, you, your blushing, everything_  


Remember that time when I asked you out? We were both drunk, me secretly not while we were drinking. And you said yes, I still remember the drunk texts you gave me after that.  
Then you said to me at that cold, windy night after we ate at the restaurant. A blizzard was happening, it was all a blur but I remember seeing your face lit up as you look out the window of the hotel room, we were sharing.  
I remember those words when you said: “I love you, Mark, I-I really do.” And how red your face was and how cute you were. Those few words started with a messy kiss, then your _skin_ and your messy hair.  
“Don’t you ever leave me, stay by my side.” You said those words in the morning, your morning hair and sunken eyes didn’t stop me from loving you.  
I was… foolish back then, when you said those words I was… intoxicated with you. Just everything about you blinded me from the fact that our lives were fragile  
_And you left me, just like that…_  


I still remember the smell of the hospital room, it was rather perfumed. But it didn’t distract me from the fact that the heart monitor was dropping, your blood pressure was dropping. Even Ethan’s usual charisma was dropping.  
From those bullet shells, discarded magazine… my world just dropped.  
You said we were going to be together, you said we were going to be together, grow old together… _be together…_  
This is why I hate accepting promises because it can be broken and both parties are left in horror, sadness, _pain..._  
Cause that’s all we were, a simple cliche. We weren’t supposed to last long, I do still think you’re cute by the way you smiled and laughed.  
Now, look at me, sitting at your grave Sean. Writing this letter while in the rain, everyone’s probably looking at me now. I might catch a cold, but who cares anymore. I’m going to see you in… Sean. I’m going to see you, Sean.  
And I don’t know what to expect in the afterlife, Sean. There might be a god or nothing. But it’s fine, as long as I get to see you again. Your beautiful smile, your hair, your puffy cheek.  


Cause this letter is all about me, a rambling of an unfortunate guy who is blaming myself for you dying after that gunshot, I could have done something. And I hate that, I hate everything about me, myself. Cause all I want to feel is your warmth, even if it is your last time.  
Sean, I want you to know that I loved you, I really did. When I didn’t want to tell the public since I was too scared, how we kept it on the low.  
And I hate myself for that since I just fell in love with you. Even if I’m Pathetic, I really do want to see you again.  
Or how I lashed out at you so many times, yet you still love me…  
How?  
How do you still love me? After I hurt you so many times, you don’t push me away, you don’t hit me. Instead you _help me_  
Why? Sean? Tell me what’s worthed about me? After I promised to never hit you again yet I still break that promise? Tell me what part of me is worthed? Cause right now I need to know, the pen that I’m holding right now is shaking from how much regret, pain, suffering that I’m going through.  
And I know that I will never express how much I love you, how sorry I am. But the only possible way to do it is to see you, to tell you that I’m sorry one more time, in person.  
_Cause I really do love you, and I’m dumb enough to not tell that to you. _  
__

____From Mark,  
I will see you again, Sean. I love you  


**Author's Note:**

> it is 3 am, i was planning to do work but the files didnt really download well so like... kms and stuff and i wrote this uwu


End file.
